A Lifetime Ago
by broken mind
Summary: The BAU is about to find out when the UNSUB is up to. Storyline: SSA Hotchner is confronted with his past while dealing with a difficult case. Inspired by true events. FINAL Chapter is UP! Please, pretty please leave a Review!
1. A new case

**Criminal Minds**

**- A lifetime ago -**

When the phone rang, FBI Supervising Special Agent Aaron Hotchner already knew that it would be bad news. Reluctantly he picked up to shut down the annoying ringing noise which caused him a slight nausea. This would be a bad day, he thought. Last night he had finally signed the papers that Haley had sent him 3 weeks ago. In the end, he remembered, it hadn't been that difficult putting down his signature onto the paper, what had been difficult was the thought that signing meant the final cut.

He breathed deep. "Yes?" he said with a monotone voice, his eyes tied to a crack in the wall opposite to him, then stared down on his feet, and without saying anything more, he set down the phone.

15 minutes later everyone of the team had assembled in the meeting room. This time had been sufficient for him to collect all the info that Seattle PD could send him on the case, victims and possible leads. It wasn't much, but for a start it was more than they had on many other cases.

Hotch cleared his throat, as was usual for him when he opened a meeting. "We have a case in Seattle. There have been 4 incidents so far and we couldn't establish a time frame. The first and second killing are nearly 4 months apart, the next happened within only 22 days, while the last happened after 6 months." He sighed a little. "So there is no pattern and no specific timeline and obviously the Unsub doesn't accelerate." He put up one photo after the other onto the whiteboard, some showing scenes of car accidents, others the inside of the crashed cars with blood covered bodies. "The Unsub uses traffic rush hours to locate his victims, who always are the two parents and one child, a boy. He then uses his own car, an old black Dodge Pick-up truck to cause an accident with the victim's car, after he has made that happen, he shoots them with a hand-made shotgun, he doesn't aim at a special part of the body, as you can see here." Hotch put up another photo, bigger than the others, a collection of the victims' wounds. "There were 8 killings, 2 in each incident." He continued but paused again.

Morgan stepped forward and looked intensely at the last photos. "It's erratic behaviour that the Unsub shows. Non-aimed shots into the car wreck, only driver and passenger seats, this cannot be coincidence. Always man and woman, side by side, backdoor open." He snatched a paper from the file and read through it quickly. "Right, husband and wife, always one child around the age of 16 which is missing." He looked at his team. "Can it be possible that the Unsub kills the parents and takes the child? Have there been any reports of dead teenagers in the region?"

"No." Hotch shook his head. "Before the last incident, the killings have been filed away as random car accidents with anger shootings."

Reid scratched his head. "So what's the difference with this one?"

Hotch bit his lower lip. "This time we have a witness…"

During the flight from Quantico to Seattle Hotch was quiet, which was nothing unusual but he looked absent. For most of the time he stared into the papers in front of him but never touched any of the pages, then he stared out of the window. JJ found this odd but she knew better than to ask. She knew that Aaron Hotchner was a person full of trouble on the inside but never let anything come up to the surface. But now something was troubling so much that he had to work hard to maintain his regular attitude.

Everybody was trying to find new leads and new ways to think about the case, as was normal. Prentiss tried to wrap her mind around the idea that the teenagers could still be alive while Morgan imagined a scenery where the final purpose of the attack as a whole was only to get to the teenagers to torture and kill them. This normally was the outcome and he had seen too many cases of that.

Reid sat quietly, probably thinking more rapidly as he could have spoken, thinking together facts and aspects to find a clue that they were missing.

Morgan and Prentiss reviewed, ordered and framed each incident, drew out situations and strategies to prepare a preliminary profile. The shotgun and the accidents made it obvious that a lot of hate but also inconsistency defined the killer. It were as if the killings itself were a necessary thing to be done and get over with to follow a higher aim. When Morgan mentioned his thoughts, Hotch shook of the absent-mindedness and for the rest of the flight kept his attention on the case. Until now they didn't really have a lead on anything but Morgan's theory made sense. If it had been only one incident, one could have thought that the rebellious teenager in an anger wave killed his parents after a car accident but each incident had the same handwriting. First a provoked accident and then the killing of the parents. The strange part was the missing teenagers. They had Garcia pull files on possible whereabouts, incidents from the past or cross-related incidents from other states. Until now, nothing had come back. Maybe their eyewitness could shed some light onto this case and give essential information.


	2. The Witness

The arrived at the Harborview Medical Center in Seattle in the late afternoon.

Morgan, JJ and Hotch went to see the witness while the agents Prentiss, Reid and Rossi joined the police unit that had already started working on the case.

A nurse led them to a room in the west wing of the main building, where two policemen stood guard at the door. All three showed them their badges.

"I'm SSA Hotchner, this is Agent Prentiss and Agent Moore. We came to talk to the witness…" Hotch glanced through the window in the door.

The officer to the right reached out and opened the door, then stepped aside. Morgan was the first to enter the room.

Hospital rooms always made Hotch sick. The sterile white on the walls, the phoney plants and paintings, all these cold things made him want to turn around and leave. But when he saw the frail form of the person who was lying in the bed, he stopped dead in his tracks. JJ nearly walked into him.

It was a woman, thin and with strawberry blond hair that peaked out of the bandage she had wrapped around her head. There was not much to be seen from her face. Her eyes were closed and her face was covered with abrasions, lacerations and cuts. There were no machines connected to her but from the looks of it she must have gone gotten pretty banged up. Jereau stepped closer to the bed.

A doctor came into the room and positioned himself at the head of the bed. "She has lost consciousness when she arrived at the hospital yesterday after the shooting."

From what there was in the initial report, this woman had been involved in the causing of the accident. Riding a motorcycle, she had been pushed into oncoming traffic by the Unsub's PickUp truck hitting and disabling the victim's limousine. Having been thrown off the motorcycle and into the windshield of a minivan, she had been able to witness the shooting from short distance before losing conscience and thus was a far more reliable source because of her position. Her name was Amber Cartwright.

"So she has been unconscious since then?" Morgan asked.

"Well, she's in and out of it." The doctor said.

"What are the chances for her to wake up and remember everything?"

"Well…" began the doctor in a pensive voice, "She's happy to be alive and stable. The accident has caused some head trauma, concussions in general and some bruised and broken ribs, but brain pressure is within normal range and the neurological waves show no sign of permanent memory loss. Of course, she may feel disoriented at first and may not remember some parts but it is very probable that in terms of memory loss everything will come back in short time. She looks pretty roughed up but mostly it's bruises."

"Please leave the room…" came Hotchner's voice out of the sudden.

Morgan and JJ turned around, the Doctor who was already facing him looked up from the heart rate monitor readings he was checking.

JJ knew better than to question Hotch. His clenched jaw and the thin line of his lips as well as his stiff posture showed that something was not right. He seemed to know the woman in the bed. She motioned for the doctor and Morgan to follow. Derek scrutinized his friend but kept quiet, although the unfamiliar look in his fellow agent's eyes worried him.

JJ gave Hotchner a warning look as she closed the door behind her.

For a moment, everything was quiet, only the soft beeping of the heart rate monitors. Hotch heard another thing, his own fast heartbeat. A moment passed until Hotch had the strength to step closer.

With a long glance, he looked at her, taking in each cut and bruise. Slowly, he got closer until he could touch her but he hesitated. The peacefulness in which she laid sleeping was betrayed by the wounds and the machines. Finally, he reached out and brushed a finger along her cheek, across the bruises, pushing back a strand of hair. Her skin felt soft but cold under his touch. Hotch let out a deep sigh and let his finger trail along her cheek again.

Suddenly she moved under his touch. He drew away a little bit but when she opened her eyes, he took her hand. It took her a few second to focus and adjust, but then she turned her head a bit to look at him. Her mouth twisted with pain and her eyes widened with astonishment when she recognized him.

"Aaron…" she whispered and squeezed his hand which was still holding hers. "You're here…"

"Yes, I'm here…" he whispered back. "I am here…"

Then she fell back into an uneasy sleep.

Hotchner waited for long moments beside her bed, just watching her, finding comfort in the regular breathing. It felt stranger seeing her again after such a long time. He realized that he was still holding her hand. The longer he looked at her, the more he remembered. He had spent so much time working on crime cases that he had almost forgotten the happier times of his life. Of course, with Haley he had been more than happy but he had felt that it had not been enough, not for her and not for him. Jake had been the only important thing in his life. His work had always been in the way of inner happiness. In the times what he had worked at the attorney's office, things had been easier, happier.

He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I am here…" he said again and turned to leave.


	3. Questions and Answers

Outside he found Morgan and JJ waiting. Both had a questioning look on their faces. Hotch passed them, motioning for them to follow, not saying anything. Derek nudged JJ in the side, also wondering what was happening to their fellow agent.

He pulled out his cell and dialled Emily's number. "Any progress?" He listened for a moment, obviously Prentiss and Reid had not made any noticeable discovery in the case. "Meeting in 15 at the police station." He ended the phone call, standing still for a second but then moved on briskly. Morgan and JJ followed silently.

Hotchner felt strange, tired and confused. He had not the slightest idea of how to begin. He felt the eyes of every team member burning holes into his body, waiting for him to clear up the situation. He knew he had to do it or withdraw himself from the case but at the same time he knew he would be of best help to both society, the victims and their families and her if he just told the truth. He swallowed hard and tried to keep his voice firm and regular.

"When I first read her name, I didn't think it was her. How big can be the coincidence of her being involved in one of our cases, as head witness." What a mess of a start, he thought briefly. He looked around, unsure how to continue. Everybody saw how hard it was for him to open up that way to his colleagues. "Mrs. Cartwright and I worked together, she was an Assistant District's Attorney. Her last case was a homicide of extraordinary brutality and I was assigned to supervise and help out. She never asked for protection but it was quite obvious that she was in danger. She had gotten attacked twice before the trial, the first time they tried to shoot her from a passing car and the second time they set fire to her house. But even that did not intimidate her. She showed up for the trial and got the person responsible behind bars. But when the verdict was out, the brother who had been there the whole time jumped the ward and took his gun..." Hotch looked down onto his hands that were folded in his lap. His mouth moved slightly but no sound escaped his thin lips. He had never been a person to share personal thoughts or feelings but there had been more than one time when he had been reminded that there is no I in team by either Morgan or Rossi.

Reid cleared his throat with a low noise but it was enough for Hotch to continue. He raised his hands a little as if in despair. "And she got shot right in front of me..." his voice had suddenly gotten thin and flat.

JJ looked at him closely and could almost read from his eyes what he really felt but didn't say._ 'I couldn't do anything, I was paralyzed, all I felt was her weight and the blood…' _She had developed such a perfection in reading a person but doing this on her colleague, reading this in one of her closest friends made her feel strange. It was almost a daily routine to read this in the victim's families or persons that had found still living victims. But now she wasn't sure if her interpretation took her too far, she implied a personal relationship, maybe his sadness came simply from the fact that he couldn't prevent the crime instead of his inability to protect her in a way that was a little more private. But according to the worried, almost frightened look in his eyes – which was something that JJ had never seen before in Hotch – her first intuition was right.

Hotch coughed shortly and made a harsh movement with one arm as if to wipe away the topic. "Of course, we also got this guy into jail. Amber was rushed to the hospital, she had received 2 bullets, both into the chest." Once again, Hotch lost his line of thought and fell silent. He knew very well that his team was just not used to him getting all sentimental and this was not the time to prove to them that inside he was just a normal person with feelings and emotions.

Reid noticed the change in the usage of her name, first Hotchner had called her Mrs. Cartwright and now he just used her first name. Something told Reid that their relationship had been more than just work colleagues.

Emily broke the uneasy silence, stating the obvious. "But she survived…"

Aaron looked up. "Yes, she did, yes. The bullets missed any mayor artery but punctured her lung and fragmented her sternum. Being comatose for a few days, she was hospitalized for nearly 3 months and after that, she resigned from work, moved to another city and was never heard of again. I haven't seen her since then." He cleared his throat again, this time it hurt. He tried to look openly at his colleagues to gather whatever impression or emotion radiated from them. But he found nothing but compassion.

"Now she is an important witness in our case. We will treat her as any other regular witness, no extra attention whatsoever, neither from your side nor from mine."

Morgan suppressed an "Amen...", he knew perfectly well that Hotchner would do so. He had the strictest rules and the most rigid personality. But since there was some sort of personal relationship between the SSA and the witness, he hoped that they could and would make good use of it. People tended to be more compliant and clear-minded around friends.

JJ suppressed a sigh. She saw how hard Aaron fought to withdraw and detach himself from the case, especially from their head witness. This case would not be easy for neither of them. She herself found it especially hard when there were children involved. And this case sounded especially cruel because no one knew about the whereabouts of those children whose parents had been executed right in front of them.

Hotch looked at his watch and noticed that this meeting had gone by so fast and yet every minute weighed so heavy on him that he felt he would crash beneath them.

"But we need to find out if there is a connection between her and the accident. Maybe it was planned? Maybe she also was a target?" Prentiss asked.

Rossi answered her: "It is unlikely." He said in his serene voice. "In the other incidents there were always other vehicles or bystanders involved yet none was able to describe the Unsub. You know how it is, an accident happens but no one remembers the licence-plate or the color of the car. People are shocked and look the other way. Since Mrs. Cartwright was directly involved and according to the files had the best view on the Unsub, there might be the chance that we actually get vital information."

"Now..." Morgan started, "I honestly think that the Unsub's behaviour is not as erratic as we thought first. There is some structure, I just can't put my finger on it..."

Reid nodded. "There has to be a connection. I would like to take a look at the car wrecks and maybe the police files..."

Aaron glanced at his wrist watch. It was late. "Ok, Morgan, Reid, go over the police records and get Garcia working on related cases. Have her dig into the usual, go back at least 5 years. Dave, Prentiss, check out the family's background, visit friends and neighbors, we need to find out if there was anyone in common holding a grudge against them…We need to be prepared, the Unsub can lash out again any moment...JJ, control the media. Try to keep a lid on it, we need to avoid the name giving and wild theories."

Everyone nodded and started clearing out of the office. JJ stayed behind.

After a few moments of ordering the files on the table, Hotch sighed and looked up. "What is it?" he ashed huskily.

Jennifer didn't say anything until her superior looked at her. "If I may suggest..." she paused and smiled. "Why don't you go back to the hospital and find out as much as you can?"


	4. Memories

When he was alone, the memories that he had so long suppressed came back in an emotional shock wave. He saw her lying in his arms, her chest nearly ripped open by the impact of the bullets. It was a terrible sight but what made it even worse was the look in Amber's eyes, not comprehending what had just happened. He didn't even know where to put pressure because the chestwound was so big and he knew that he would do more damage than good. These eyes of hers, frightened and in a lot of pain as she was, were tied to him, searching for answers, and help. And there was nothing he could do. He had just held on to her, trying to calm her while the ambulance arrived and the paramedics attended her. And then he had just stood there, his white shirt under the dark blue suit stained with her blood, his hands dripping of her blood. It took long moments until he found the strength to move. It was only later when someone told him what had happened. It was the brother of the convicted person and in the end it turned out to be the same person who had attacked her before the trial.

He remembered that it had been hard for him to take the initial step to go and visit her in the hospital. It was not because he was scared to see her in the comatose state she was in, it was because of his own inability to accept the fact that all this had happened without his being able to do anything. There had been many people in the room and waiting for their turn outside, friends, family, co-workers, yet he had felt strangely detached from them. He had waited patiently until everybody had cleared out when he stepped into the room. She had looked so peaceful but all the heavy machinery attached to her body indicated the difficult state she was in. There had been a constant whizzing and beeping sound but after only a few moments, all that he could hear and see was her breathing, the slight movement of her chest that showed him that she was still alive. Barely alive, but alive. He had sat down on a chair next to her bed and just looked at her.

Now, in the silence of the office, he decided to take JJ's hint and returned to the hospital to stay a little longer with Amber.


	5. No Progress

Early next morning the team had assembled in a tiny room in the back of the police headquarters. They had spent the rest of the last day to compile more information.

Garcia hadn't found any related cases, only one car accident with a similar pattern that had happened 7 years ago. Two people dead, the parents and the male child missing. It was a rather cruel accident, the car had crashed into a van carrying construction material and the parents sitting in the front seat had been impaled by metal supporting bars. The boy had never been found and like in the case now, there had been no trace of injuries to the boy, no blood, no tissue.

Morgan and Reid had checked the police records of the current accidents but there was no new information that could be added to the case. Hotch sighed in frustration.

The victims had nothing in common in appearance, the only thing that tied them together was the fact that they were parents of a 16 year old son. Ethnicity, culture or lifestyle did not connect, also the same car type as trigger could be taken out of the picture. A geographical profile could be established based only on the fact that the killings had taken place in the same city and the victims were also from the same city.

From what Rossi and Prentiss had collected from friends and neighbors, the families seemed to have been almost perfect. High-level schools and colleges, houses in expensive gated communities, the perfect little family. No one knew about enemies or people who wanted to harm them, and everybody was shocked that this had happened to those families. But no one could give information on a person that had been in the lives of all the four destroyed families, no parallels, so stable variable.

Nobody could understand it.

JJ had taken over control of the news. There would be no name-giving or speculative information going to be given out to the public. In cases like these where there was no profile at all, it was important not to get the Unsub upset, unprofiled as he was there was no telling what he might be up to next.

Just like back at Quantico, JJ had put up all the pictures on a board and Reid was already trying to find any kind of connection between the victims apart from the obvious non-existing.

There were 4 quadrants on the board, the 4 incidents. Mary and Daniel Hargreaves and their son Thomas. Vivian and Howard Franks and their son Jake. Julianna and Bud Faulkner and their son Paul. Carmen and Juan Perez and their son Felipe. Reid was writing underneath: black Pick-Up, children=sons, whereabouts? It seemed random and unconnected but it was Reid's way of thinking and organizing. The rest of the team had gotten used to it and had long given up to find any sense in the early sketches.

"Ok, so what we know is this: seemingly random car-accidents, provoked by a black Pick-Up truck and after succession the driver steps out off the vehicle and shoots the older passengers while letting the younger one, always a boy around the age of 16, go. There is no obvious connection between the victims and there is no trace of the children. There has also been no report on dead or other missing boys around the age of 16..." Reid said a little absentmindedly.

"From other witnesses, unfortunately there weren't many, we know that the boys ran away without being harmed." Interfered Morgan. "So it's not a sexually oriented crime. The gunshot wounds are random and don't show patterns, so we can also exclude a sadistic Unsub. The erratic behaviour indicates a disturbed mind. Nobody could give a description of the Unsub, but I think we're looking at a young man, maybe a boy himself." So his theory from back on the plane was incorrect. "But according to these witness reports the shooter showed absolutely no mercy, the shots were fired quickly and without hesitation."

"Yes..." came a voice from behind. "The act of freeing the children from their parents can only be the doing of a person that has experienced some sort of imprisonment within the family firsthand."

Rossi nodded. "Hotch is right. But as long as we don't know what's happening to the boys, we can only assume that it's not a sadistic Unsub."

Morgan gave him a look. "There are no signs of this being sadistic killings. The only pattern that we see is that the Unsub attacks the car with the parents, disabling any possible chance of getting away and then shooting them."

"And there we have the problem, this seems to be his signature, his method. And if he already developed a signature, then the thought of this being sadistic killings in order to emotionally please the UNSUB is not farfetched."

There was a small silence. The Rossi stood up and moved over to the window. "Let us come back to the point of erratic behaviour. I actually don't see anything that indicates this Unsub to be erratic. The attacks are well planned and then carefully executed. I don't think that the victims were chosen randomly just because the Unsub kills on the road. He – I suppose it's a he – has to learn the routine, know which streets the victims use, which car they drive, who else is in the car. So he plans the attacks. It is difficult to target only one car in rush hour, traffic is just crazy and following just as well is not the easiest thing to do. So, I think we can exclude an erratic behaviour entirely."

Everybody was quiet for a moment.


	6. A first profile?

"So what if these seemingly random attacks are planned and organized? I get the feeling that the Unsub isn't just cruising around in his car, picking out random victims to excite himself. I think he is planning this very thoroughly, he knows the daily routines of his victims and he's just waiting for the next possibility to strike." Emily had been quiet throughout the discussion of Rossi and Morgan but she had a point now. Everybody agreed to that.

"I think we can assume that the Unbsub is male because he is focussing on the boys." Morgan said. "And since there is no sexual aspect involved so far, I bet he's not emasculated. He might even have a family, children..."

"Now..." JJ spoke up. "We are forgetting about an important point here. The boys have not been found. Can we suppose that the Unsub keeps them somewhere? There are no reports of them showing up dead or alive anywhere. Maybe we should focus on that as well..." She was a little edgy but her colleagues were used to this. Whenever children were involved, Jennifer Jereau was a different person.

"Of course, we need to do that, too. But the thing is that we have no clue at all. There is no obvious pattern in how the parents are killed, but it's clear that they are killed on purpose. Taking them out by crashing the car does not seem enough."

"It looks almost like a rite of passage..." said Reid unexpectedly. They all turned to look at him.

"Rite of passage?" repeated Morgan.

"Yes, I know it sounds strange, but the fact that the Unsub chases the victims in their car, then kills the parents and lets the young boy go. The age of 16 in many cultures is the age of integration into the society of adults and this sure looks like an initiation, but I'm not sure if it's the boys' initiation or the Unsub's."

Rossi nodded. "A rite of passage is a ritual event that marks a person's progress from one status to another. Rites of passage have 3 phases - separation, transition, and re-incorporation, so that makes sense. It doesn't matter if it's the Unsub's transition or if he is initiating the boys. Here's what I think: Step One is Separation, this normally would be the trigger, so we can assume that whatever happened to our Unsub happened around the age of 16, so after that initial incident the process of separation begins. Normally you separate from childhood, taking over responsibilities and duties of an adult. Maybe our Unsub separated from reality, searching for responsibilities he thought were for him to have, responsibilities he saw in his parents or persons important to him, persons that had an influence on him. Then in the transition process he matured into one of these important figures, seeing himself now as the one having to fulfil these responsibilities. Then, the last stage is the re-incorporation, and he is making his victims live through the same process of initiation. Being now in the position of the executor, the person in charge, he introduces others to the new phase of adulthood."

Morgan clenched his jaw. "He's taking the initiation process to a whole new level..." he muttered. "...and there seems nothing to connect a profile to..."

Jennifer stood up and moved uneasily through the room. "How can it be that there is no trace of them? If it was about abducting and taking hostage than there would be some sort of ransom, some messages, contact. So maybe they are already dead or still alive and very well hidden or they feel extremely safe where they are now. So if you are right about the initiation process, then maybe the focus of these attacks is not the boys but the process of freeing them?"

"And that could mean that maybe there is some sort of relationship involved that we haven't yet discovered." Emily said. "But there are just too many possibilities..."

"And we have to think about them all." Aaron sighed. "Now, I think it would be a good idea to go and interview our witness. David, Emily, you come with me to the hospital. JJ and Reid, try to find a way to establish some form of contact with either the Unsub or the boys. Use Garcia. Think of ways they would use for communication. Be creative."


	7. Warmth

Hotch remembered the couple of hours he had spent with Amber yesterday. She had been conscious for almost the whole time and seemed to be better than only one day before but still, he was unsure if he could question her the way she needed to be questioned, he was unsure about how much she could really remember and if she could take it. Amber was willing to submit to the questioning, she knew how important it was. She had been the only witness who had seen his face and what had really happened to the boy.

"So, when are you going to start asking your questions?" Amber looked at him directly. Hotch moved nervously in his chair. "I know you need to ask me about the accident."

"Yes, I need to ask you...as soon as possible in fact, before there are more casualties..." he paused, answering her look. "Only if it's ok with you..."

"Anytime you want...if it helps..." again she begun to drift away.

"It will help, I'm sure." Hotch said, stood up and placed a soft kiss onto her cheek. With her eyes closed, Amber smiled slightly.

"I never believed them…" Amber said out of the sudden.

"Hm?" Aaron bent towards her.

"I never believed what they said…" she repeated and looked at him intensely.

"What did they say?" From the expression of his face Amber could read that he knew exactly what she was talking about.

"You being cold and unfeeling." She paused to wait for his reaction but he remained quiet, as was usual for him. He knew that she was referring to the other ASAs and employees back in the office in Vermont. "I mean, they all came to visit me in the hospital but you were the only one that stayed during the rough times…

"Yes, I did…Even though I thought that you didn't notice me being there. The doctors didn't know if you could…"

"I did…" she whispered and looked away, embarrassed. When she looked up again, she found a slight smile had conquered his face. It was ever so slight but the longer she looked into his eyes, the more she felt it grow. There was a sparkle in his eyes that she had never seen before.

"You smiled…" she stated after another moment with a soft chuckle.

"No, I didn't. I just used muscles in my face that I haven't used in a long time." He said with another shy smile but didn't break the eye contact. Amber's heart missed a beat.

"Well, then I guess you haven't smiled a lot lately." She raised the hand that had been carefully folded in her lap during all that time and reached out to touch his cheek. The intensity of that moment made Hotchner have to close his eyes.

Now he remembered their conversation and it still pained him to remember her bruised face. But he straightened up and looked at his colleagues. "We should interview the witness as soon as possible." JJ looked up sharply. Of course, she knew that it was necessary to get first-hand insight in order finally establish a profile to release to the authorities. Normally, they were able to build a preliminary profile within a couple of hours but this time, they just had nothing to tie it to.


	8. Insight

Parking the black Suburban, Hotch felt a certain coldness creep into his chest. Now they would make Amber remember what happened three days ago. The accident itself was probably not the most frightening thing to remember, the execution of the parents in the other car was, he was sure. Amber had seen and experienced things beyond imagination but still, it must be terrible to have to remember. He knew that it was because of his personal involvement in the case and that he should know better but still, he could do nothing to evade the feeling. He clenched his jaw and pressed his lips together into a thin line but stepped into the hospital entrance hall with his chin high.

The police had put 24 hour security in front of Amber's door, so he showed his badge and entered the room, alone while the other patiently waited in the hall. Carefully, he closed the door behind him, shutting out the noise from the hallway.

"How are you?" he said in a low voice once he reached the bed.

Amber smiled at him with half-opened eyes. "Peachy..." she murmured. "I'm ready..."

Aaron left the room and called Rossi. Within 5 minutes, the team had assembled in the white hospital room.

"Amber..." Hotch's voice seemed to come from far away. She felt his warm hand on hers and opened her eyes. He smiled.

"Is it time?" she asked hoarsely and he nodded before he stepped into the background. Jennifer helped Amber accommodate herself in the cushions.

Rossi sat in front of her. "I need you to focus on the events of the accident. Everything you remember, every single detail is helpful." he said bluntly, without the usual gentle approach. He knew that with a person with psychological training an approach like this was difficult because they wouldn't go into analysing the events. He didn't need to create a comforting environment because he was sure that Amber knew perfectly well what she needed to do. She had agreed to this and knew what was expected. Apart from that, Dave suspected that she had already reconstructed the events.

Amber closed her eyes, she was calm but Hotch could see how tense she was.

"I remember driving down Maple Road towards the corner of Hilton Street. There was a lot of traffic, but it was normal for the hour of day. I had the green light and sped up a bit to cross Hilton Street when I got hit by a white SUV, which turned out to be the car of the victims. It had been hit by a black truck, a Pick-up, a Dodge I think, and pushed out into the oncoming traffic. I don't remember much of the impact but before passing out, I saw that my bike was now the new emblem of the SUV..." she gave a hard laugh. "I also saw the family in the car, in shock, and the black truck right next to them. A man, probably around the age of 20-30, blond hair, tall, well-built, got out and walked towards the SUV. I thought that he just wanted to help, so I felt relieved but then when I saw the shotgun that he pulled out of underneath his jacket, I knew that he was up to no good. He opened the driver's door, shot the parents and then forced the boy on the backseat out of the car. I thought that he was going to execute him too, but instead he gave him a kiss onto the forehead, sprinkled something onto his head and let him go..." Now she was breathing heavily. "And that's when I blanked out. I'm sorry!"

Rossi placed one hand onto her shoulder. "Thank you, you've been a great help." he looked at Hotchner. "It's always good to try and memorize details. And you did a great job here. Now we also have a physical description, something we didn't have before. And you revealed something very important about his MO..." He smiled at her. "Get some rest, Amber." He patted her shoulder again.

Amber leaned back in her bed and closed her eyes.

Rossi turned to Hotch. "She has had good training, she knew exactly what to look for, she's been of great help." He gave his friend a reassuring look. "She'll be fine..."


	9. A New Lead

In that moment, Hotchner's phone rang. He answered it quickly, then ended the call. With dark eyes, he turned to the other agents. "That was Captain Hunter from the police department. There has been another incident..." He said in a low voice. "Three fatalities this time..."

Rossi looked up. "3? How so?"

"The parents and a 5 year old girl..." Hotch said quietly, turning away from the hospital bed so that Amber wouldn't hear the terrible news but she flinched anyway.

"The Unsub's behaviour is getting difficult. If it hadn't been erratic before, it is now! This is the first time that we know he has targeted larger families. So it's not about _the__children_, it's only about the male child that fits the age..." Rossi let his voice trail off.

Hotch nodded when his phone rang again. This time it was Penelope. "Yes, thank you..." he said. "We'll be right there." He looked at his team expectantly. "Garcia has found out some more about that accident 7 years ago. And she has received the details on the latest incident. We need to go."

Everybody stood up and moved out of the room, only Hotch stayed behind. He turned to Amber who had her eyes closed, and gently touched her cheek. She looked better now than only last night but still, it pained him to see her like that. "I'll be back later tonight..." he whispered and thought he saw a slight smile on her face but her eyes didn't open. She had gone back to an uneasy sleep. He didn't dare to kiss her.

Outside, closing the door behind him softly, his phone rang again. He stopped for a moment and breathed in, then answered. "Reid, what have you got?"

"Well, so far nothing new, but I have been thinking, Hotch. If this Unsub is targeting 16 year old boys and finding them, being able to follow them, then there must be a common variable where they have met. What if we're looking at some sort of self-help group? Like an AA for troubled teenagers?" Slowly, Hotch walked to the car where the others were waiting.

"That sounds like an idea. Even though, if I remember correctly, the neighbours interviewed by Morgan did not mention any intrafamiliar problems. But most of these problems are usually never made public, so this could give us a lead. Follow up on that! Call Garcia to help you list all possible groups and members. Since the boys are students, focus on groups that are promoted by the school or psychologists that work for those schools."

He nearly heard Reid nod enthusiastically over the phone. Maybe this was a step towards the Unsub, something more accessible than just the theory of the rite of passage where there was nothing to tie to profile to. The abducted boys – and they had to take it as a fact that the boys were still missing – did not attend the same school and as far as the team knew, did not share the same circle of friends. The interviews with friends and neighbours as well as the police reports have revealed nothing that showed some sort of connection, yet he was sure that there was a connection between the boys more than the families themselves.

So, hopefully Reid's intuition proved right.


	10. Getting deeper

When they arrived at the office, Reid had already talked to Penelope and was working on a preliminary list of possible groups. He had a couple of them highlighted that he thought were more likely to lead to something but the list was still too long. Currently, he was deleting groups that were out of the geographic profile because logically, a 16 year old teenager could not get far away without stirring the curiosity of others. The location had to be somewhere near the schools or the families' houses or somewhere along the bus route. Finally, the list revealed 18 groups in the nearer Seattle area. "I think we can exclude more once we get the instructors and members list by running background checks on them." Reid leant back, satisfied with his idea.

"We need to take everything into account. It's not just where he finds the boys, how he traces and follows them, there must be some sort of connection. And I am pretty sure we won't find out anything on that car because since it has been involved in so many crashes and none of the matches turned up successful, maybe it's not registered at all...We have no idea if the car itself was stolen beforehand or if it belongs to the Unsub." Morgan interfered.

"Anyways, we have to follow up on that, too!" Hotch answered the dark-skinned man. "Maybe it gives us a lead on something...We cannot afford to not do that. We don't have any idea what happened or will happen to those boys."

"I think we can assume that the perpetrator is self assured and also gives a lot of assurance to those boys. How else would it be possible to kill the parents in front of the boys' eyes and get away without them going public? Even having them following him? So maybe he is a person of authority, like a teacher or instructor himself? It sounds like a solid theory..." Emily said.

"Could be, it sounds about right, but even though this might limit down the list of groups to check out, it will still take too much time. Right now, we have to suspect that the Unsub doesn't wait for us to find out more. There is absolutely no way of knowing if there are going to be more victims." Morgan said.

Suddenly, the phone rang and Morgan put it on speaker. "Talk to us, baby girl." He said.

"Alright. So, what we know so far is that there has been an accident 7 years ago during the Easter Holidays, both parents dead and the then 16 year old boy missing. Now, the funny thing here – or better – the horrible thing is that the car was first opened like a tuna can by the impact and then partly flooded. The car crashed into a construction truck which was loaded with heavy metal gear and a water tank which tore and emptied its content into the inside of the car. Not enough to kill, but I just thought that it might help you guys...it's one of those weird things..."

"Well thought, Garcia!" Rossi said. "I think that this is important indeed. You know, that sounds like some form of baptism...imagine this: the boy takes this event as his coming-of-age, his rite of passage and the water from above is the cleaning, he must have felt like the chosen one in this moment." He paused for a moment as if to catch up with his own thoughts. "I think that was the most impressing moment in his life and he wants to bring the same revelation to the boys he thinks he has been freeing..."

"Garcia?"

"Yes!" came the quick response. Hotchner imagined the blond-haired technical team member with her bejewelled hands hovering over the keyboard, ready to go.

"I think this is our Unsub. Get his record, find out about his life. I am pretty sure that he didn't go public since he was reported missing but there must be traces, incongruities that might lead us to him. An address would be nice! And try to find out something about the car."

"Alright, I'm on it! By the way, the instructors and members list Reid asked for is on its way...and I also took the liberty of including their fact sheets and police histories of recent employees and anterior as well." she said and hung up.


	11. Sociopath or Psychopath

Rossi looked around with a satisfied smile on his face. "That should get us somewhere..."

"I just hope that it gets us somewhere in time..." Hotch sighed. "We have to avoid another killing..." He looked around and saw the same concern in the faces of his team. "JJ, get control of the press. If the Unsub feels pressured by any news report or magazine article, then most likely he's going to go on overkill. Until now, his faith – if we take the case of the rite-of-passage – has kept him from a more severe reaction, but who knows..."

The blond woman frowned. "We need to avoid the name-giving and the publicity, I know. But we don't know if the media attention would be a negative or positive factor in this...This behaviour is quite difficult to catalogue."

"You're right, it's nothing I've ever seen. But there are some characteristics to which we can link to. In order to be so diligently organized, being able to track down the boys and their families' habits and follow the cars during rush hour, we can assume that he is highly intelligent. But in these cases, despite their intelligence, they tend to do poorly in school and work, having problems with authority and learning, most likely they have a hard time keeping one job. Besides that, they come from unstable families, they can be adopted or have abusive parents, but always dominant." Rossi explained.

"In our case, I would say that he sees both parents as dominant and abusive because he makes no difference in how he kills them. It appears as if he experienced traumatic events with his parents in his childhood and if we take the person Garcia has found as the Unsub, the car accident held some sort of revelation for him. His rite-of-passage, the so-called confirmation of faith and adulthood, turned into the quest of saving others at the verge of passing into adulthood themselves.

Rossi rubbed his chin. "But anyhow, this sounds more like a sociopath than a psychopath because until now there is no trace of lack of empathy and remorse. Sociopathy is more the of childhood trauma or abuse. Something has happened to him before the accident and then he took over the responsabilities. He believes that he is freeing the children and he lets them leave without harming them. Psychopaths are highly prone to antisocial behavior and abusive treatment of others. Though lacking empathy and emotional depth, they often manage to pass themselves off as average individuals by feigning emotions and lying about their pasts. I think this Unsub is pretty open about his past, at least he is sharing it with those boys and he seems to come off as empathtic and caring."

„And he doesn't seem to be after the kick of killing, stimulation is not his ultimate goal. As Ms. Cartwright described it, he didn't linger long with the parents, his attention was solely on the boys." Emily continued the thought. „So, the Unsub being a sociopath tells us that he most likely doesn't have a steady job and that he shows strong narcissistic characteristics. I think we can give out a first profile..."


	12. Interlude

INTERLUDE

It was quiet in the little chapel by the lake. The sun was setting on the green pastures around it. It looked almost peaceful.

Yet, the image of tranquility was disturbed by the big chain and lock that held together and shut the double door and the low sobbing sound that came from the inside. From time to time it was interrupted by the blowing of a nose.

„Can't you just shut up and be quiet for a while?" came a voice not less nasal from tears.

„I just want to go home!" There was more sobbing.

Silence hung over the place for a long moment, almost like a heavy blanket smothering the life underneath.

Then a chair was pushed back violently. „Stop your whining, you pussy! I'm happy to be free! And finally now I finally have the balls to do what I had been dreaming about for a long time!"

„You dreamed having your family killed in front of you?"

„No, Paul, I actually dreamed about killing these bastards myself..." The back door was opened and the conversation died away.

There was another silence, this time heavy with shock. Then came some sobs and a smack - one of the boys got slapped in the face. The sobbing died away immediately.

"There is food in the car, go and get it!" One of the boys scrambled through the back door and disappeared into the evening light. A car door was opened and closed after a moment, then the back door was being shut.

"This is what you wanted! This is what you begged for!" The stranger snorted. "And now you're complaining like little sons of bitches! I am turning you into better men! I am initiating you into the real world! Whatever world you have lived in so far, it's gone!" Something – a can – fell to the floor and was kicked angrily through the main isle of the church.

"You are named after the most important figures of Christianity names and yet you show absolutely no respect for your heritage. Thomas, Jacob, Paul and Phillip are the foundations of our faith! And me, Gabriel, the archangel, have descended to liberate you from all evil." He laughed long and hoarse. "And after the ceremony, you will be as powerful as I am, liberated from all earthly problems. So get the fuck over it!"

One of the boys started sobbing again.


	13. Assembly

The whole police department as well as most of the official private detectives had assembled in the aula. School directors of the sectors where the accidents had occurred were instructed at the same time in a different room. It was getting dark quickly now and Hotch felt the chill of the early October air. They were in the school of the last kidnapped boy and the people in the aula looked frightened.

Garcia had found out name and last known address of the possible suspect but it hadn't led anywhere, just as Hotch had suspected. In cases like these it was most common that the Unsub found a new place to stay or hide, mostly not related to anything or anyone in his life. It was a method of self-protection, even though not from law authorities but from himself.

The house was empty and there was no trace of the Unsub anywhere, as Hotch had foretold. The house had been empty for a long time, probably since shortly after the accident, and that had been many years ago. Yet it was relatively clean so he suspected that someone had been taking care of it. It had also not gone into foreclosure or bank auction, so either there were regular payments on taxes and for house and property which were still in his family's name or someone was registered as habitant here – something that Garcia felt compelled to find out, so she dug into this right away.

The follow-up on the car had also not led anywhere. Prentiss had found it important to check any possible connections within the groups to be able to dismiss more of the suspects but there were in all 168 black Dodge Ram 2500 Pick-up Trucks with high-top headlights registered in the area and 7 of them belonged to people on their list – members and instructors of help-groups. But the fact that the truck had been used in so many accidents made that list almost unlikely to be of any use. Damage like this would be noticed and also call attention in the car shops. Hotch suspected that the Unsub had his own workshop and fixed the car by himself. He messaged Garcia in order to have her find out about car part delivery or sale. If the Unsub repaired his car by himself, he would need to get the parts somewhere.

Of course, they had to consider that the car had had regular repair work done because of the severeness of the accidents. It was almost too much to fix without heavy machinery that you normally find only in car shops. Captain Hunter and Lt. Carver were checking out the indicated car shops and the homes of the 17 persons marked as possible suspects at the same time as the BAU agents gave out the profile in order to save time.

Garcia came up with nothing. Whoever this Unsub was, he was cleaning up behind him very effectively. She had also cross-referenced every single employee, employer and member of the help-groups – as far as was possible because some groups worked anonymously with their members, but so far, there was nothing useful.

Reid and Prentiss talked to all the group members who appeared on that list. They swore that they had never lent their car to anyone. And yet, even if the Unsub had borrowed the truck from someone, the damage was so extense – according to Amber's decription – that the owners must have realized that something was wrong.

Morgan and Prentiss had gone to the high schools of the other missing boys to talk to the school's psychologists to check if there were other 16 year old boys at risk. JJ was interviewing again the closer families and friends, debriefing them on the new profile. They did all they could but there just wasn't any real lead to the suspect.


	14. Weight

Hotch now looked at the crowd in front of him and it gave him a sting. There were parents among the police officers present here, parents of other 16 year old boys who were now scared for their sons' and their own lives, who didn't feel safe anymore even though their job was to keep them and others safe.

„Welcome and thank you all for coming..." he started out and looked at Rossi, who was with him. Morgan, Prentiss and Reid had gone to meet with the school directors.

Dave took the hint and continued. „Let's make it short. We are dealing with a sociopath who started out as a person appearing almost normal but there had been obvious abuse in his family. We strongly believe that the Unsub is a Caucasian male in his late 20s, who had suffered from both mother and father. But the turning point, the trigger, happened when he was 16, we believe it was a car accident that made him believe that he is chosen to initiate his own rite-of-passage ritual for the boys. In his opinion, the trigger – a car accident – showed him his purpose and he will do anything to follow through on that pattern. It's almost a religious obsession, this quest of his, and it's just as dangerous. We believe that he is gaining access to his victims – or better to the boys he thinks he's setting free – by a help-group for teenagers having problems with their families, and he feels comfortable enough to be close to them. For them, he appears to be one of them, plus a figure of authority and trust for them. Maybe he is one of them, maybe he is someone working with them or in the building. He is not – and I repeat, he is not – an instructor or teacher. He would be someone in the background who talks to the boys during the breaks, before or afterwards. Most of the time he goes unseen. He would not be someone you noticed right away, he'd stick to the background and approach the boys only when he can be sure no one else would notice."

Now Hotch took over again. "According to this profile being a sociopath's behavioral profile, we can assume that the Unsub doesn't have a steady job, and never had been able to hold one long enough. He could be a volunteer at that certain help-center, an unlisted low-paid worker, even a group member, but by now he would know better than to try to work with a contract. But he would be someone who gets into contact with the boys easily and those boys trust him. He has probably found a place to hide the boys where they feel comfortable enough not to try to escape or report the incidents. So we need to find out where those boys used to be – meaning where they usually hang out. Unfortunately, it is going to be difficult to get a hold of that or those specific help-groups because many operate without license or official records. So we need to look into all possible aspects and interview friends and known groups in order to get some background information."

He looked around. People's faces were blank, mostly by the shock of knowledge that the Unsub was amongst them, undiscovered and probably known to someone one of the attending people.

"Even though there are many help-groups, judging by his self-esteem, the Unsub is most likely affiliated with a registered group. He doesn't fear killing in broad daylight and in front of possible witnesses." He paused for a moment. "Once again, most of the employers of such groups are registered but there are always those who help off the record. I strongly advise against irrational actions. Most likely our Unsub is not noticed, he blends in, people tend to forget about him quickly, except for those he focuses on, the boys he thinks he is saving. For them he probably appears like a person of trust and confidence, someone who has gone through the same. We think we know who we're looking for, but we can assume that he has changed his identity after the initial incident in which his parents were killed. His last known address has been searched but there was no indicator of his current whereabouts. All we know for sure is that the location he has chosen is well off the radar, meaning that it's secluded, no neighbors, no direct connections to any sort of civilization. The boys – we still assume that they are alive – have not tried to contact the police but that doesn't mean that they are not scared. Maybe in the first moment, they felt relieved but after a while they surely have come to their senses and understand that this person annihilated their entire families. So in order to keep the situation under control, he would keep them in a place out of sight. Since we don't have much farmland around, my guess is the wildlife parks or larger forest areas."

One father stood up and put both fists to his sides. "So, even though you think you know who has killed those 9 innocent people and has taken hostage 4 innocent boys, even though you have his name and address, you still can't catch him? So what good are you guys?"

Rossi lifted one hand as a peaceful gesture. "With what we have found out so far, most of the case is discovered. You are right, we know who and where but people have the ability to disappear and blend in without being found. I know it's a lot to ask for, but we need you to please not to anything apart from keeping your eyes open and helping us discover the Unsub. As we have said, he normally goes unnoticed, yet if you pay attention to the behavior profile and you will most likely notice him."

"So you know who is responsible for this, yet you don't do anything…You said you know who he was!" another man shouted.

Hotch could understand this behavior, yet it was not leading anywhere. "Please, I know that you all are upset. But we need to stay focused in order to catch the Unsub. Even though we know who he is, we don't know where he is. A person can easily disappear, if they only want to. We need your help to find out where he might be hiding." He cleared his throat.

Rossi stepped in again. "We have advanced in this case, but now we depend on your eyes and ears. This Unsub is out there, and very likely looking for another boy to take!" His voice had taken an unusual tone. "Instead of going against the FBI you should spread the profile among your families, neighbors and friends. If you have sons in the age-range, prepare them! Try to be outside as little as possible. Don't use the car in high-traffic hours."

The man who had last spoken sat on his chair, jaws clenched but there was a look of understanding in his squinted eyes.


	15. Heavy on the Heart

When the team returned to the police station, Hotch went straight to the office in the back, to get a minute for himself. This case was getting to him, he felt it clearly.

But instead of finding a moment of peace, he found Amber sitting in one of the chairs around the round table in the middle of the room. He inhaled deeply, more because of seeing her in this ambience than in surprise of seeing her. It had been what, 16 years? The bandages around her head were gone, as was the swelling, but her face was still cut and bruised. It's only been 4 days since the accident. Yet, he couldn't deny how attractive she was.

"I can help, if you only let me." She said before he even had a chance to speak up, raising both hands as if in defense. "I know some of the people, remember, I have lived here for a long time now." Amber cornered Aaron with her look. Hotch knew that it was not proper behaviour to even allow her to speak instead of bringing her back to the hospital right away. She was not well, he could see that, the pain was obvious on her face.

"What did you do...did you escape or pay the doctor for letting you go?" His voice came harsher than intended.

"You know, I might have been just a naive young woman when we first met and even though I'm in these clothes..." she looked down on herself, wearing sweatpants, a too large football tricot and an old-fashioned she had taken from the lost-and-found on her way out of the hospital. "...but I think I'll be of more help down here with you. After all, I was there."

"Yes you were but that also could make you a target. You saw him and maybe he saw you. You nearly died, Amber!"

"Sure, but you also said that it's not likely that I could be a target. So, anyhow, I can help!" She looked him in the eyes. "I have seen many bad things, criminals and killers but this is different. Aaron, when I close my eyes I can see the smoke coming from the family's car, I can hear their screams in the silence, I can even smell their fear. But the most terrible thing is that I can't forget the panic in the mother's eyes. When that man killed her husband and then pointed the shotgun at her, this moment seemed to have lasted hours. And when he shot her, that sound still rings in my ears. Aaron, I was only a couple of meters away from her, and I couldn't do anything to help her."

"Because you were badly injured in the crash. The doctors said that you can be happy to be alive..." His face twisted with sadness.

"Yeah, sure...but still..."

Aaron tilted his head to one side. There was no use arguing with her. "I'm taking you back to the hospital afterwards." He said in a firm voice, allowing no room for discussion.

"Afterwards..." she smiled.

Soon, the others entered the office, obviously noting the presence of their witness but not questioning their SSA. Prentiss found it strangely reassuring to have Amber with them, cooperating and offering her help so selflessly. It was not the usual behaviour of people involved in cases like that.

Morgan now held up the file with the latest incident and pinned the pictures onto the board.

Amber let out a sharp breath. The photos made her sick. It was one thing to talk about things like that, but entirely another matter to watch it happen and those photos brought reality so much closer. JJ didn't bother to turn around the flipboard, since Amber was now more than just a mere witness.

There were pictures of the crash, of the father shot in the head and the mother, obviously having tried to get to the back seat to save her daughter, shot multiple times all over her body and then a photograph of the little girl, shot twice in the chest. She was halfway out of the children's car seat, someone had obviously moved her. Her empty eyes stared straight at her, yet didn't focus on anything. Her mouth was twisted, as if she had cried out for her mother right before she died. There were bloody handprints on her neck and face, but not her mother's, her hands were clean.

"So..." Morgan said. "The MO had changed. Now he killed a child...Wasn't he supposed to save the children?" He was obviously angry.

Rossi frowned. "Remember, only boys at the age of 16..." He looked at the pictures one more time. "The girl was overkill. What worries me the most is the girl. Look at the handprints, look t her position..."

"Could that have been the Unsub? Signs of remorse?" Reid asked.

There was a pause.

"I don't think so..." said Hotch. "The Unsub would have waited until the child was dead to place her and he would have positioned her differently. My guess is that the boy, who had to have been in the back with her, tried to help her and then, when he realized that she was dying, he took her out of her seat...Until the Unsub took him away."

"We have to go and speak to the family and friends of these victims, too. Maybe they know something..." JJ cleared her throat. "Let's go, Reid."

Amber still stared at the pictures. The words entered her ears but she couldn't make much sense of them. The image of the dead young girl would be in her nightmares for a very long time. She didn't realize that JJ and Reid left the room and then a few minutes after, Morgan, Rossi and Prentiss also cleared out of the roon. Only Hotch stayed behind.

He didn't say a word until Amber snapped out of her trance-like state. Her voice came rugged and hoarse. "He held her in his arms when she died..."

"What?" Aaron asked compassionately.

"The boy...he held her while she died...he held his sister...he watched his parents and sister die right in front of him..."


	16. Interlude 2

~ INTERLUDE ~

The doors of the chapel were pushed open again. Another boy stumbled in, his clothes bloody and his face smeared with blood and tears.

When he scrambled back to his feet, he intended to turn around and flee through the open door, but a large shadow blocked the way out. He fell into the shadow, only to be pushed out by a strong hand. Again, the boy fell to the ground, this time struggling backwards.

"Ungrateful creature!" the shadow roared. Then the man stepped into the light. Paul thought that he had grown in the time he had been absent.

"Ungrateful creature!" came his rumbling voice again. The newcomer – still on the floor – started crying. One of the other boys, Felipe, helped him up. The look on the new boy's face shocked him and he shouted at the man. "Why are you doing this to us? What have we ever done to you?"

"Done to me?" the man grinned now, a horrible grimace on his face. "No, it's what I have done for you, my holy angels." His smile broadened. "Holy, that you are! And now we are complete. Thomas, Jacob, Phillip, Paul and Andrew, finally reunited with their father, Gabriel."

He opened his arms as if to embrace them all. The boys shied away, even Jake, who in the beginning had been pleased by the development. It seemed as if he had realized that this was not even close to what he had wanted to do. The knowledge of his parents having been killed and his having been happy about it weighed heavily on his heart.

Paul, the tallest of them, mustered up all his courage and shouted at the huge figure. "We are not your sons!" It was supposed to sound defiant but it came out only as a frightened croak.

The man still smiled. "Oh but you are! And together we are going to do great things! And now, prepare! The ceremony is close and together we will ascend."

With that, the man retreated through the still open door and closed it behind him, bolting it shut.

The newcomer, Andrew, fell to the floor, sobbing helplessly. Paul helped him up. "It's going to be ok..." he tried to calm him down.

Andrew looked at him as if he had gone crazy. "What?" he cried out. "OK? Nothing is going to be ok! He killed my entire family, my mom and dad, and my baby sister! She was only a baby!" He broke down again and buried his head in his bloody hands. "I held her in my arms while she died! What's going to happen to me now…"

Thomas squatted down next to him. "If we don't die in here…"

The smacking sound of Paul's hand against Thomas' cheek tore Andrew, Jake and Felipe out of their lethargy. Thomas, rubbing his reddened cheek, glared angrily at the taller boy but remained quiet.

"Don't ever say something like that again!" Paul hissed under his breath. With this, he turned and walked back into the corner where he had sat by himself all the time before.

Thomas continued to rub his cheek but the angry flicker in his eyes had vanished. There was only despair. He crawled over to Andrew, who sat on his heels a couple of meters away from the door, glaring at it as if he wanted to force it open by sheer will.

"Don't even try…it's locked. Believe me, we've tried!" He moved a little closer. "How did you get here? I'm just asking, because we don't remember much. Felipe and Paul were unconscious during the trip, and I was so frightened that I didn't pay attention. I cried the whole time." This last sentence came out hesitating and hushed. In a different situation Thomas would have blushed but under these circumstances the fear and survival instinct made this

"I wonder, why he is calling us angels…"

"And why does he call me Jacob? My name is Jake, not Jacob. Just like him, he's Felipe, not Phillip…"

"I think this guy is seriously deranged…" said Felipe. His eyes were red but he was the only one who had not cried until now. Yet, his lower lip quivered and his voice was unsteady.

"What is all that crap about the ceremony?" Paul asked but no one had an answer. Just by the sound of it, to him it was something dangerous and scary and he didn't want to know at all. All he wanted was to huddle in the embrace of his mother and father, but that was something that would never again be possible.


	17. Inside Out

"Think you can stomach something to eat?" Aaron asked sympathetically. After her little breakdown in the police office, she had got herself together pretty quickly.

Amber nodded. "I thought I wouldn't be, but I have to admit, I am." She looked at her hands that she held folded in her lap. "No restaurant, though. I don't think I'd make a good figure like this." She smiled apologetically. To Aaron, this smile lit up the grey evening.

"Don't get me wrong..." she gave a little laugh, "but we could go to my place...and I could cook us up something nice..."

Aaron tripped over his own breath but quickly caught himself. "Don't you think that you should rest? Maybe slaving over the stove isn't the best thing for you to do."

"It's better than sitting in a crowded place with everyone staring at me..." she said and Aaron knew she was right. He wanted her to be right.

Reid and JJ had gone to interview the grandparents of Andrew Gardiner. The news of the death of their son Henry, daughter-in-law Madeline and grandchild Caroline hit them hard. JJ stayed with them for a little while to ease the pain, Reid in the meantime went to check on some of Andrew's friends that lived close-by to see if they knew something.

It took him more than a couple of hours to speak to all of them. It seemed that Andrew was a well-known and respected boy in his neighbourhood, he had many friends. Most knew nothing, but the last one, Kevin Fairchild, was able to give important information. Both of them had gone a couple of times to a private sports club where Andrew had been talking with a brown haired man talking about his family problems. This man had tried to talk to Kevin as well but now that he remembered the situation, it had seemed weird to him. The man had asked a couple of questions about how much he felt left alone by his parents and what he would do to change his situation. According to Kevin's statement, some of those questions were of such a private and strange nature that at least Kevin had backed out of the conversation. Andrew, however, had seemed to be intrigued and confessed his wish to not have his parents around. Kevin remembered the intense looks and the satisfied face of the man when he heard this.

The description fit the Unsub. But the profile had changed. It was not a self help group where the Unsub met his victims, it was a sports club. Different setting, different atmosphere, different method.

According to the witness' declaration the man had moved about carefully and focused and had separated Andrew from the rest of the people but Kevin had been able to hear some of their conversation. He had mentioned that there were other people involved, others that he had been able to help, others that had been searching for a solution. He had said that he was that solution and that he could help the boy on his way to freedom. The way he put it, remembered Kevin, had sounded so confident, so understanding and so real that Andrew couldn't have possibly known what was going to happen to his family.

Now they finally knew how the Unsub got into contact with the victims. Hotchner assumed that once the Unsub established contact with the victims and won their trust, he would follow them around, getting to know their daily routine, observing family life and schedules. And then, once the habit is customary and the family is underway and stuck in traffic, the Unsub strikes and kills the parents, taking only the boy. From Amber's account, the child is set free after the horrid events and runs away from the scene, most likely in shock, but somewhere the Unsub just had to meet up with them again to take them wherever he was holding them. Any 16-year-old boy would have the means to go to the police and state their case. After an incident like this, none of the boys, however brave they might be, would go with the Unsub without fighting back.

Aaron felt exhausted. This change to the profile could mean that they had wasted energy on following up on dead-ends. They had briefed the police station and the school directors on a person being affiliated to a self-help group but in the end, it didn't matter. The description of the assumed behavior, the MO and the victimology were still correct.

Hotch went to debrief with Reid and the rest of the team, then Morgan went to the Sports Club to have a look around. But there was no trace of the Unsub and the people there didn't either want to respond or didn't know anything. The Police positioned a car for surveillance but there was not much more that could be done. They just hoped that the Unsub would show up again or that they would find someone who could give some insight.

Now, on his way back to the hotel, he tried to order his thoughts, but he couldn't really control the thoughts of Amber. He was normally a very disciplined person but lately, he was losing a lot of his restraint. And he knew perfectly well why this was happening to him.

He concentrated on the road now, it had just started to rain. People get slow on the road when it rains, Hotch thought. And slow was not what he needed right now. For the first time in a long time, he felt a certain craving in his insides, a hunger for something else than food. Amber had given him the keys to her apartment, and felt like a little school boy, all excited on his first day at school. It was strange, he thought, that after so much time, so many years, he still felt the same about her as before. He had not thought about her during the past years with Hayley but now he realized that Amber had never really left his mind.

When he now pulled up into the parking lot of the white-washed 5-storey building, his heart was racing in his chest. It almost hurt, this reoccurrence of a feeling thought long lost. He needed a moment to catch his breath, organize his thoughts and calm down. This really felt like being a school boy again, he silently laughed at himself.


	18. Feelings

And now he was standing here, in the dim twilight of the early evening, looking at the building complex. He knew that he had given her the keys but he had not believed that she would really make use of it. Now, a slight smile broke the thin line of his lips, for the first time in a long time.

She had cooked up a simple meat, mixed vegetables and roast chicken with honey and mustard sauce, mostly because that was all he had in his fridge. But still, it seemed to have been ages since someone last cooked for him. The whole apartment smelled deliciously and for a moment he felt as if he had opened the door to the wrong hotel room. He just wasn't used to this anymore, the homely atmosphere a shared home can have.

Amber was with him after only a moment and he knew that he had opened the correct door. The warm smile on her face let him forget the strenuous day straight away and when she reached out her hands to him to lead him into the dining room, he willingly followed. The slight pressure of her hands around his sent jolts of something warm and fuzzy through his body.

The table was set simply but there were some little details like a single candle and the elegant plates with the long-stemmed wine glasses. He never had wine with his dinners unless he ate out with the BAU members but on his own he never felt he deserved the pleasure of uncorking a bottle and sharing it with himself.

Normally, he ate out of need and purpose, not out of pleasure. Those rare moments were spent mostly with the rest of the team on their regular nights out, having pizza or sushi but in the end, he went home alone to his lonely apartment.

They ate dinner in silence, only the occasional glance and smile was exchanged. Desert was rice pudding with plums, Hotch's favourite. He smiled at her remembering this, he knew this was no circumstance. When he later helped her return the dishes to the kitchenette, the tension was almost touchable.

She stood bent forward over the sink, letting the dishes glide into the hot water, when he moved up behind her. It cost him a great deal of courage to get so close but now, his body moved almost on its own. He felt her become rigid in front of him. She, too, was nervous. The way she didn't turn around and look at him, he knew she was waiting for him to make a move.

She had never been the straight-forward type and that was what Hotch so liked about her. While most of the other women in the attorney's office seemed to be on the easy side and flirty in their mini-skirt costumes and dresses, she always wore contour-flattering straight black pants and nicely cut blouses, mostly with flower prints. She always had looked more mature than her real age, more mature than the other women at the office. And this was something he liked so much about her. He had appreciated her serenity and her objectivity because he saw himself in her.

There was also physical attraction, after all, his taste in women opted for tall blondes. But even though there was never more than professionalism between them, the romance had almost been touchable. There was more than the occasional smile and exchange of glances, sometimes a hand lingered just a moment too long on another, sometimes one brushed by the other with no apparent reason. But for some reason, there had never been more than that. Both focussed on work and there was never that special moment where both could admit their feelings to each other that were so obvious on their faces.

There had been only one time where they had shown their feelings towards each other. The day before the trial that changed their lives forever – making her spend months in the hospital and more months recovering and making him change jobs from attorney to the FBI and ultimately to the BAU – they went to a bureau dinner and were sat on the same table, opposite each other. Dinner came and they ate, silently, pretending to enjoy the company of the rest of their colleagues. They left early, though. Right after the speech of the general attorney and before the socializing started, both looked at each other and got up together, and shared a taxi without talking about it.

Both lived on different ends of the city, yet it seemed just natural to him to accompany her home and see her off safely. She didn't object.

Now sitting in that taxi, their knees touching, both were tense. It was only when they reached her apartment complex that the tension seemed to have fallen away. Hotch got out of the car to open the door for her – gentleman that he was. She put her hand on his when she got out, almost by accident, but then entwined her fingers with his while they walked towards the entrance. Both did not say a single word.

Then he pulled her to a stop, a few meters away from the door. She turned around, her eyes bright with the reflection of some lights overhead. Aaron's heart missed a few beats when she smiled. There was complete silence around them and time just seemed to have stopped for the two of them as they gazed into each other's eyes. In the end, it was only a couple of seconds that had passed by but to them it felt like an eternity.

Then finally, she withdrew her hand. To Hotch it felt as if something important had been taken away, something he would miss dearly.

"Goodnight..." was all she said but before she stepped away, she placed a timid kiss onto his lips. Then she entered the building and left him standing outside, dumbfounded, astonished, amazed.

They never again talked about this. It was the day of the trial and Aaron was woken up very early by a police officer informing him about an assault on Amber during the night in her house. Someone had trashed the front door and thrown in a Molotov-bomb.

As fast as he could, he drove to Amber's place only to find her outside of the apartment complex. He looked up and saw the 7th floor pretty damaged by fire and wondered how she had gotten out of there. Yet there she was, dressed for duty and with a determined look on her face.

Hotch would never forget that look and that day, a day that changed everything for both of them.

She had escaped an attempt on her life during the night and also survived the shooting in the courtroom. She had almost died in his arms and yet, there had been nothing he could have done to protect her. It had also been the day that he had decided to leave the attorney business behind and get more involved in the direct process of catching criminals.

But in the end, what he regretted most afterwards was his own incompetence of having shown her his true feelings.

And now she was here, with him, for the first time so close and yet he felt like there were oceans between them. Then, not by his own initiative, one hand reached out and touched her shoulder, caressing the bruised skin. She tentatively leant back against him and it was only then Hotch overcame his reserve.

He pushed into her a little, putting the other hand also onto her shoulders, then let them travel downwards and embraced her. He buried his face in the curve of her neck, blowing away stands of hair, placing soft kisses onto her skin.

When their lips finally met, his heart started beating so fast and loud that he feared she might hear it but the sweet taste of her lips and the warm wetness of her mouth made him forget anything around him. Almost immediately, he felt transported back in time to that one and only kiss they had shared on the day before she had got shot in the court house.

It was against protocol but this was something he just couldn't let slip away another time. He felt safe and calm inside, he hadn't felt like that for a very long time. And there was more, there was a passion that he had never felt before, not even with Haley.

He felt her skin against his own, her hair brushing against his shoulders and almost unnoticed, his hands started to discover the hidden territory underneath her shirt...

The water in the sink – meant for washing the dishes – had gone cold.


	19. Closing In

OOC: Dear readers, I am sorry that you feel "neglected" by my not updating regularly. Unfortunately, because of me having 2 babies and a steady full time job, I don't have much time. Yet, here come the final chapters...please bear with me and enjoy! Ahh, you could also leave a review

...

Among the bed sheets, Amber turned carefully in his embrace and raised her head to look at him. He seemed peaceful and there was a slight smile playing around his mouth. One hand moved up and down her back, caressing her skin. She laughed quietly. "It tickles..." she whispered into the curve of his neck and he chuckled. He was at ease this very moment, content to just lie there and enjoy the warmth of her body against his.

It was a good feeling. He was content, he felt secure and happy, for the first time in a long time. He had been waiting for such a long time – 15 years after all. The smile on his face grew wider but turned into a frown when she suddenly went rigid in his arms.

"What is it?" he asked alarmed, looking at her. Her eyes were searching the ceiling, trying to find something that was not there. Then she focussed on him and he knew what was happening.

"What do you remember?" He knew the look, the expression that she had on her face, a memory resurging. He had seen it many times on the faces of the people that he had to give bad news. It was the look that came after the look of denial, a mother or father not wanting to believe their child had died. It was the knowledge that set in after a few moments.

Amber didn't answer and Aaron shook her a little to pull her out of her trance-like state. "What is it?" he asked again, this time looking her into the eyes, attracting her attention.

"I saw something...in the car..." she whispered. "Right after the accident! I couldn't remember it before, and even now it seems so far away. There was something that I initially mistook as the reflection of the sun."

Again, she searched the ceiling. "I think I know where the Unsub's hiding!"

On the way to the police station, Hotchner summoned the team. Everybody had already been sleeping, he could tell, but now time was everything. He himself had thrown back on the same clothes, as had Amber and both had had only time to wash faces and fix the hair after the tumble between the sheets.

They went over it time and again, to make sure that there was no detail left. Amber was exhausted, that he could see, but she didn't complain. Aaron had to make sure that Amber remembered the details correctly, so as soon as they arrived at the station, he sent her with Reid into a separate room to retrieve more from the recently returned memory.

Aaron knew that this happened a lot – memories coming back after accidents or incidents, memories that were either suppressed or pushed aside by the sub-conscience. He also knew that intently focussing on a memory like that brought back all the feelings and emotions connected to it. In Amber's case, she would have to go through the accident itself and then the shooting of the parents.

He watched through the glass window that separated the back room from the office how Reid made Amber sit down on a chair and then sat down in front of her. Aaron knew that she would now be asked to lean back, put her hands flat on her lap, close her eyes and breathe in and out in a very controlled way while listening to Reid's voice.

Soon after, Hotch could see her stiffen and push against the chair, she must have been going through the memories step by step.

Amber had seen some sort of pendant in the Unsub's Pick-up truck, a laminated copy of a virgin. Garcia had pulled up all the associated images to religious pendants from the wider Seattle area and among the 376 of them was the one Amber had seen in the truck. It was the image of a Mother Mary with the Holy Child in her arms, her feet in a pond with white flowers and some sort of barn in the background.

Hotch knew that this was not one of the common images of Mother Mary and after running the symbol through the database, within minutes the corresponding church community came up. It was the Holy Virgin by the Lake, which had only one church in the area, on a, remote park area close to the bay. It was an empty chapel, since the church community had decided to move into a more populated area and into a bigger building, isolated and better equipped.

"The ideal place to hide out without attracting unwanted attention." Morgan stated after reviewing the new information.

Prentiss nodded. "I think we need to act fast."

JJ was already calling the Captain.


	20. Interlude 3

INTERLUDE 

The air had gone dank in the main room, the candles the tall man had lit had already died and the sun was sending its last warming rays through the coloured glass.

Andrew was still sitting in the corner, knees pulled against his chest, rocking back and forth. The image of his baby sister dying in his arms haunted him.

But all of the boys were withdrawn and quiet, and none noticed the back door opening. Only the sound of large objects being dragged into the church made them snap back to reality.

All of them had turned to see the man enter the room with a big wooden cross over his shoulder. Then he disappeared again and brought another, and again, he left and returned with a third and fourth. He gave a terrifying smile and went out again. He came back a moment later with another one. The smile on his face had broadened, his teeth were showing.

One by one, he positioned the crosses along the windowed wall and then began to tied them with ropes to the timbers of the roof structure in the shape of a half circle.

The boys stared at the man and what he was constructing, until Paul took a step back, aghast. Thomas and Andy looked at him and saw the expression of pure terror in his eyes. Paul couldn't stop staring, he ignored the hands grabbing his arms or the words whispered into his ears. Only when Andy, the last to join their group, positioned himself directly in front of him, he slowly focussed back on him.

"What's the matter?" Andy asked softly.

Paul didn't answer, instead he gawked again at the crosses. Andy took the latter's face into his hands and forced his attention back onto him.

"What is going on?" he asked again.

This time Paul answered. "Don't you see that? Those crosses are for us! He's going to nail us to them...and then who knows what else..." his voice broke off when the man stepped out again.

The boys held their breath until he came back and Paul's worst fears became reality. The man carried a large hammer and a box of long thick nails. Felipe staggered backwards and fell over a bench, hitting his head hard. When he came up again, his forehead was bloody from a long cut.

The man's smile turned into a frown for a moment.

"Please, try not to lose too much blood before the great event. You will need it!" now he giggled like a madman.

Then he began to corner in on the boys, hammer held high...

...

When Paul came to again, his head felt like a rotten pumpkin. His eyes were heavy but when he managed to pry them open, he wished he hadn't opened them at all. He wished he could have stayed in the sweet nothingness of being unconscious.

He tried to move but couldn't and when he looked at his arms and hands, he could not hold back the cry that escaped his throat – both of his hands had huge nails driven through the palms of his hands. Frantically, he tried to free himself but only managed to send waves of pain through his arms. He stopped immediately when he saw the blood dripping from the wounds.

It was then when the headache set in. It was a hammering agony to the back of his head where it was propped against the wooden cross. It felt wet, too.

He breathed in deeply and looked around. His eyes widened in horror when he saw Andy, Thomas, Felipe and Jake also nailed to the other crosses. Andy was already awake but so stunned that he just hung there, face and shoulders bloody, eyes wide open and breathing heavily but otherwise motionless. He was staring at a figure in the shadows.

Paul turned his head to see what Andy was looking at. It was the man, the knife playing in his hand with the light catching and breaking on the sharp blade.

But it was only when Felipe, Jake and Thomas regained consciousness that the man moved towards them and into in the middle of the cross circle.

"Now that we are all here, we can start the ceremony. My angels, I welcome you to the rising of Christ!" he boomed and smiled. The he took off all of his clothes and positioned himself – naked as he was – in front of Felipe. His erection was obvious and his body tensed.

Felipe's breathing was harsh and he choked with fear but when the man raised the hand which held the knife, he cried out in horror.

"You sick son of a bitch!" he yelled at the man but the latter only smiled benevolently. "Stay away from me!" Felipe cried again but the man moved closer and closer until he was no more than five centimetres away from him. Felipe struggled and arched back into the cross but couldn't get free. The wounds on his hands grew and blood sputtered out and ran down along the carved wood.

He screamed when the man took his chin into one hand and pushed it upwards, baring the delicate throat and twisting the boy's neck painfully. Then the blade caught a ray of light that fell in through the coloured glass and the scream died away. Felipe's head tilted sideways and the ghastly red line that the knife had drawn on his throat opened up like a ragged mouth and hot blood shot out in bubbles as the boy's last unconscious breaths left his silent convulsing body. Then he was still, only the blood continued to flow.

The man had let go of the boy's chin and placed himself right below him and opened his arms as if to embrace the blood that gushed down onto him. He sighed and giggled and turned around for the blood to wet him everywhere.

Andrew, Thomas, Jake and Paul screamed at the top of their lungs, shocked and in horror. Jake, who had been nailed to the cross to the right side of Felipe, thrashed around in a frenzy and was able to free one hand from the nail that had been driven through with a howl of pain. The man snapped back to reality and quickly moved over to Jake.

"You ungrateful bastard!" he shouted and punched him in the face, knocking his head back against the cross. Jake whined and cried and begged for mercy, but the man showed none. The knife flashed out again and a second later, more blood – from Jake's throat – poured down on him. But Jake's death wasn't as quiet as Felipe's, he jerked violently against the cross as the life fled his body with the blood that sprayed from the slashed throat.

For a moment, the boy's body went rigid, clawing with his free hand at the cross as if to hold on to it, then he sagged down along the blood-wetted cross, hanging by only the nail in his left hand.

Andrew, Paul and Thomas screamed at the top of their lungs as the Unsub now moved towards the next in line, Andrew...


	21. Showdown

Even though they acted as fast as possible, it took the BAU a good 3 hours to get a couple of snipers and a squad ready and to get to the location of the chapel. It was very silent, too quiet. There were no animal sounds, Hotch noticed, no wind rustling the branches of the trees.

Quietly, they approached the little chapel. The evening light was just descending on its copper roof and put everything in a beautiful orange light. Amber thought it striking. It almost looked like God Himself had reached out down from the heavens and touched this holy place. But then she reminded herself of why they were here. A serial killer was holding hostage 5 boys and the danger was imminent.

Aaron had wanted Amber to stay at the police station but stubborn as she was and as he knew her, she wouldn't listen to him. He didn't like the idea of her going into something that could turn into wild shooting. They had no clue whether the Unsub was armed or not, how he would react to the FBI agents storming into his refuge or what he might do to the boys. Apart from this, he didn't want his private life to mingle with his work, something he had always forbidden.

At least she had agreed to put on the Kevlar vest and stay behind with the rest of the sergeants close to the car. Morgan, Prentiss and Reid were on their way to the back entrance with 5 police officers, while Hotch, Rossi and Captain Hunter with 6 more men took the front entrance.

There was a high-pitched scream, full of anguish, a blend of voices. Aaron drew his Glock 17 and moved forward with care. He turned only for a moment and looked at Amber before closing in on the door, just to make sure that she was still there.

The screams died away, but only for a moment. Then another voice was heard, an agonizing cry of pain, which stopped abruptly for a second, before a variety of cries were heard.

From both sides the doors were kicked in at the same time and the scene stormed.

Morgan was the first to see what had been happening in the little chapel. With his gun held in front of him, he had only a moment to take it all in before he had to tear his attention back onto the Unsub, who – with a roar of anger and disgust – came charging against him with a long and bloody knife. Looking at him a little closer, the Agents could see that his whole body was drenched with blood.

There was no time or opportunity to talk to the Unsub, something Morgan preferred to do, now the only thing he could do was to shoot him in the leg to bring him down.

The shot was fired and the sound echoed in the chapel like a thunder, yet the Unsub didn't even stumble. He continued to move against the Agents and Morgan fired another round, this time hitting the Unsub into the chest. Again, this had only little effect. The Unsub staggered a little by the impact but regained his balance by throwing himself forward against Morgan.

Another shot was fired. The bullet hit the Unsub in the left temple and sent him flying to the ground, where he laid sprawled, convulsing a bit before he went quiet. It had been Hotchner who fired the last shot. He now was lowering slowly the gun, as if not trusting that the Unsub really was dead.

Then, he too took a better look at the inside of the chapel. In one corner, the Unsub had hung up five massive wood crosses in a circle and on each of the crosses hung one of the boys, nailed to it by hands and feet.

The floor was wet with blood. All of it had come from the gaping wound of the slashed throat of two of the boys, Felipe Perez and Jake Franks. Andy Gardiner was unconscious and bleeding heavily from a severed neck artery where the Unsub had started his work and couldn't finish because of the police and the team entering the chapel. Paul and Thomas had finally stopped screaming.

The policemen took the boys down, and once the ambulance and coroner arrived, two of them were put into the sad black body bags. The ambulance carrying Andy rushed off immediately, the boy was in a grave medical condition and had lost a lot of blood. The paramedics didn't have much hope. The other two were put into another ambulance car and also driven off to get medical attention.

Rossi and Morgan took a closer look at the crime scene. The air had a coppery smell to it because of all the blood that had been spilled.

"He really took the initiation process to a new level..."

"Yes, but after his own experience, he felt touched by God. Imagine a young and gullible boy in a car accident where both parents die instantaneously. The car is damaged extensively and on top there is a lot of water coming down on him. And he survived. It made him stronger, it made him develop such a strong disorder that he felt having been put into the position of God and made it his mission to experience the same thing again, by freeing other 16 year old boys."

"He baptized the boys in order to baptize himself!"

"He brought them revelation...He went through the first two stages of the typical rite of passage: the separation when his parents died, the transition when he tracked down the boys he could identify with and then finally he needed to experience the stage of reincorporation where he tried to return to the moment of the initial event."

Rossi paused for a moment. "I was wrong about the reincorporation part when we first created the profile. I thought that he would put his victims through the same experience as he had lived through, but killing the parents was only a part of his sick view. He needed them to initiate himself again – to get to a new level of reincorporation."

Morgan sighed. "Anyways, we came late..." There was a silent moment between them. They hadn't made it in time, two boys had been already dead and a third critically injured.

"And apart from that, those boys will never forget this..." he sighed again.

"No, they won't." Rossi said plainly. "But hopefully, this will make them stronger..."


	22. Loose Ends

Hotch was packing, as usual after closing a case. His black ready-bag was sitting on the carefully made bed that showed no sign of the events of last night. His eyes moved over the bed sheets, lingering in the memory of what had happened between Amber and himself. He sighed and frowned for a moment at himself. How he had let himself go last night...like a drowning man clinging to a life-saver. Now he was confused. He didn't know what to think. All of his over a long time established attitude of shielding himself from anything had fallen away and now he was trying to pick up the pieces and make sense of the mess he had gotten himself into. Yet, it wasn't a mess he regretted having made.

Suddenly, the door bell rang. When he went to answer it, he couldn't suppress a sigh. He was pretty sure it was Amber and he also knew that he wasn't at all good at saying goodbye.

He opened the door and looked into her smiling face.

"Sorry to bother you..." she began, then cleared her throat. "Just wanted to say goodbye...I'm heading back to the hospital. The doc said there would be some more tests and scans necessary." She chuckled. "He wasn't that pleased when I took off."

Hotch simply looked at her. He noticed again how green her eyes were and how pale her skin was against the freckles on and around her nose.

"That's good..." was all he could muster.

Both sighed silently.

"Well...I better go...I don't want to keep you..." she finally whispered and stepped backwards, towards the door.

Hotch just stared at her, unable to do or say anything. She then turned around and smiled. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a white card. There was a pen on a shelf next to the door which she now took. Quickly, she scribbled something onto the card, then she held it to for him.

"Here...my number." She said sheepishly. "Just in case you feel like talking later..." She smiled and placed it onto the shelf when he still wouldn't move.

"Take care, ok?" She left without looking back.

It took some more minutes for Hotch to finally move. Inside he had been longing to take her into his arms, kiss her, tell her everything that he felt inside but his body just wouldn't move. Now he was staring at the white card lying on the shelf and ever so slowly he walked over and picked it up.

His phone rang.

"Wheels are up in 30 minutes...I'll pick you up in 5." Rossi said. Hotch moved back to his ready bag and closed the zipper forcefully.

~ End of "A Lifetime Ago" ~

OOC: Watch out for the sequel: "Long After"! There will be a new case for the BAU.


End file.
